Emi's Journal

I just did it. What I’ve been wanting to for a while, but haven’t….

I bought server space!

Kento helped me learn the FTP client (OK, he taught me), and he transfered my domains to me (he bought them a while back), so now they’re mine!!!

It took me a while to get everything moved over from Freewebs, but finally www.toumws.com is truly mine. No rerouting to freewebs, it’s mine!

Basically I was working on my site earlier…. Making buttons, to be exact. Freewebs suddenly tells me “Oh, you have 100 files. You’re not paying us, so that’s all your allowed to have.” Not in so many words, of course, but that’s how I interpreted it.
That made me sad, because I had gone into “code mode” and was all excited about working on these buttons. And I couldn’t.

So I did it… After consulting Kento (he usually has the most common sense about internet stuff like that) I bought it. Only 2 months, for $8. I didn’t want to spend too much right now, but I can handle $8.

Awesome.

Read online that some skydivers would be finishing the pre-game stuff today. So I went out to watch. Decided to get Carl’s Jr. for lunch too. Good day.

OK. Most people will argue that it’s not that hot, and they’re probably right, but it’s still too hot!
What can I say? I don’t tolerate heat well. Especially while lugging a bag of textbooks around campus.

And a pumpkin.

Today I went to the MU Quad, where there was a fair kinda thing…. Lots of booths about stuff around campus and town. Lots of free stuff. It was cool. The GT (newspaper) booth was giving out pumpkins…. So I now have a pumpkin. Just a little one. I’ll “decorate” my dorm with it, I guess. I can put it up by my phone…. I guess.

I also tasted fresh organic home-grown freedom. Good stuff! Best watermelon I’ve had all season! :p
Apparently Freedom is a kind of watermelon, and the organic growers club was giving out samples…. REALLY good stuff.

There was also a group with the cutest kittens ever. Well, not quite, but they were danged cute. And soft and fuzzy, and the one I held had was a high powered motor. Started purring the moment you touched him. Very sweet. Made me go “Awww….”

But besides that, I’ve survived my first week of class. I’m really worn out though. The heat (OK, so it’s only in the 80s, that’s hot for me!) drains me, and classes add to that.
It’s been fun though.
Chemistry is a blast…. Literally. Today my professor used a canon…. A cork canon. And it made people scream. I laughed. And on the first day he exploded balloons, flame and all, so all is well there. It’s been enjoyable.
Trig…. I’m managing. I go through phases of getting bored out of my mind to taking notes mindlessly because it’s too much at once. It all averages out, so it’s all right. I think I’m getting it so far. It’s not my favorite class in terms of nothing really interesting happening, but it’s OK.
Sociology… That’s kind of interesting, in a weird way. There’s discussion at least, putting it ahead of trig in the interest department. It’s not something I’m overly enthusiastic about, but it’s not bad.
F&W orientation…. Cool stuff. Mostly we sit and listen to people talk, but it gets me excited. Just hearing about opportunities…. It’s good stuff. :p
FOOTSTEPS was pretty fun. We walked to downtown, and ate Italian ice cream stuff that was really really good. It was good to see everyone again. It’ll be a fun class, I think.

Another thing this week was FW Club. I went last night, and got very excited. Free pizza certainly helped. But it’s going to be a lot of fun. I’m looking forward to the Depoe Bay trip. Can’t wait to go to the Aquarium!

All in all things are going well. I’m tired, but it’s the weekend! Tomorrow I’m not going to set any alarms to wake me up….. Absolutely nothing is planned for tomorrow, so I’m just going to hang out. Sleep as long as I want, do some homework, clean a little…. Hang out online. Watch Arrested Development. I’m looking forward to it!
I’m also interested to see when I’m going to wake up…….

Well, today was indeed day one of classes!

It went pretty well. Nothing terribly interesting, really. Gilbert, the Chemistry building, really needs a sign… But despite the fact that I walked around it several times looking for a sign, I was still 30 minutes early.
Oh, my Chemistry professor blew some balloons up. That was cool. As in flame kind of blowing up. Very cool. And a bit toasty, for those of us near the front.

Then I had an hour between classes. I grabbed lunch over at Marketplace West, which is a nice dining center. And right across from Peavy, where my trig class is. Trig was alright. No blowing up or anything though.

Oh yeah… And I used my meal card for the first time today. I had breakfast… And then lunch too. But first breakfast. My first meal bought on campus in my full-time college career. It was actually pretty good.

And I also talked to my RD. Because I’m “the 15 year old”. That was alright. I petted her dog. Nice doggy.

Anyway, tomorrow is my busy busy day (4 classes), so I better head to bed. The first one is across campus at 9:30.

Today I downloaded the Cars soundtrack from iTunes. I LOVED the movie and the soundtrack is wonderful as well!

There’s one song that kind of struck me though. It started out just because it’s a wonderful song, but then you know how when you listen to a song and start applying the lyrics? Well, maybe it’s just me, but I started applying my life to this song, Find Yourself by Brad Paisley.

The lyrics are here.

Well, it got me to thinking… About finding myself. At this point it kind of seems like I’ve found myself, but then how I got here… That’s always an interesting story.

I started realizing Central was my defining time. I found myself there…. Somehow.

“When you find yourself
In some far off place
And it causes you to rethink some things”

Central, Talmage even, was certainly far off from sheltered little Winterhaven, where I went to school for most of my life. And rethinking? Of course I did a lot of that. There were so many things I wasn’t exposed to at Winterhaven. There was a lot of thinking.

“You start to sense that slowly
You’re becoming someone else”

That’s what scared me. This part jumped out at me while I was thinking….. At Central I was exposed to these… Situations, I guess. And it scared me. Because I was becoming numb to them. The suicide attempts, the pregnancy, the drugs, even the inappropriate language… These were things that bugged me, but I was growing numb. And that scared me. I was, well, becoming someone I didn’t want to be. Even just being exposed so much to it was changing me.

“When you make new friends in a brand new town
And you start to think about settlin’ down
The things the would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell”

Well, there was WOU. People there were nice. I enjoyed it. Even just people I knew through my mom’s work. I loved, and still love, the college environment. It’s got it’s ups and downs, there are the people that are as bad as in high school, but the environment itself just feels better. The people, the classes, it all feels more welcoming.
And then of course I started going part-time, loved it even more… And people encouraging me…. It all became clear.

“Where you go through life
So sure of where you’re headin’
And you wind up lost and it’s
The best thing that could have happened
‘Cause sometimes when you lose your way it’s really just as well
Because you find yourself”

It all leads to this, and this takes the cake. I thought, of course, that I would go the normal path. High school, then college, all perfectly normal. I was sure of it. I hadn’t even really decided what I wanted to do or anything.
Then Central. I was compelled to leave. I was lost there. But because I was lost there I found where I was really headed…. OSU, fisheries & wildlife…. The bad situation at Central found me a good situation here.

“When you meet the one
That you’ve been waitin’ for
And she’s everything that you want and more”

Yup… I found OSU. I found where I belong. I found something I want to do. I found a place I want to be. And it feels good.

Finding yourself…. Everyone does it. It sure didn’t strike me like this at first, but this is a song I think everyone has, or will have, a story to match to it. Like I did.
I think too much.
And then because I’m easily entertained I find it cool.

Life is good.

Let’s see…. I left off at when I repelled.

Repelling was fun, but it kinda gives your hands rope burn. It was fun though.
After repelling, I decided to belay someone. Morgan, one of the people in my group, was who I ended up belaying. She was trying out what I would consider a hard climb… And she topped it! Which made me feel very proud. After at least an hour of determination she made it up. I was tired after belaying that long, so I can’t imagine hanging on the rock for that long…….
After belaying Morgan I really really needed a drink. I had been standing in the sun for too long. I have a low heat tolerance. So I needed water.
I went and got my water, then headed up to where it was shady. I remained there pretty much until we left. I was tired and warm, and it was getting near time to go.
Unfortunately I believe the sun took its toll on me…. I actually don’t remember much of the walk back, because I was totally beat. It was at that tired point where I start slipping a lot…. Never fell, but I did slip a lot. And I know for sure that I was slow again. I remember just focusing on taking steps…. And that’s about it. I ran out of water, and was starting to feel the symptoms of heat exhaustion….. Not fun.
I did make it back though. Somehow. The really steep uphill climb at the end required a lot of stops…. But I made it. By then I was feeling nauseous and totally out of it… Tim was in back with me again, so he took my water bottles to refill and told me to go back to the vans… Which I did.
The van ride back gave me time to recover, so I was feeling better by the time we got back to camp. I had basically collapsed against the window and stayed there the whole ride. It worked.
We got back to camp and it was my van’s turn to cook. We started getting stuff set up. At that point I was still pretty beat, but I helped where I could. Once the chips and salsa (left over from the night before) came out and I saw that it was mild, I got hooked…. And ate a lot, which made things a lot better.
For dinner we had spaghetti. Pretty good. A little sticky, but not bad. We had a big fire (trying to burn all the wood we had left), and all sat around it (like we did the night before), goofing off again.
There was a lot of random talk, the Bottle Game (much like the hot chocolate game, but I mastered this one. ), another game of Mafia, and then a LOT of random story telling.
The random story telling was where I started being half asleep. It was that attentive yet still kinda asleep phase…. So I heard what was going on, but I don’t remember much of it. Some, but not a lot. There were quite a few law breaking stories (pranks, basically), and some bat stories…. And stuff like that.
After a while I decided I really needed to go to bed. I got up, went to my tent, and crawled into my sleeping bag. I didn’t even bother to take off my coat. I was so tired. And feeling a bit nauseous again.

This morning, our last morning… It was drizzling when we got up. At first I just went out and sat. I still was feeling kinda lousy. The thought of food was sickening….. So I got my stuff together, sat around a bit more, helped take the tent down, then sat around a bit more. Didn’t get any lunch or breakfast, because even the thought was quite unpleasant.
It was drizzly again, but climbing was still on once again. This time we headed to Northern Point. Climbed down a hill, which in itself made me nervous. I was a bit sore from the previous day, and me+sore+downhill often means trouble. Today I managed alright though. Let people pass, as usual. Often I’m more slow to be cautious than just being slow. I could be faster, but I don’t dare…. Especially while walking downhill next to a cliff on a dirt/gravel type path. I just tend to be a bit more careful in that situation…….
We made it to the climbing area anyway, and I was kinda tired. I think everyone was. Most of us sat around for a bit. I finally jumped onto a wall… One I watched two people climb already, and didn’t look TOO bad.
I made it most of the way up, until I reached what appeared to be a ledge. It stuck out over the area I was climbing. From below it looks like it would be a great help as long as you can get yourself over it……. Not so much. It’s actually a pretty smooth sloped rock, not a ledge at all. I found this quite brutal. Some people didn’t have much of a problem at all…. I on the other hand, did. It didn’t help that the rope was slipping or something, so I would drop a little bit every now and then, and that would not only make me lose progress, but scare the heck out of me.
I got pretty content with reaching that point…. But the people down below wouldn’t let me come down. I was getting really frustrated, because I was tired and shaky and ready to go down. They wouldn’t let me though. I tried several different ways to get up. Most people had the best luck putting their body against the perpendicular wall and creeping up that way….. That didn’t seem to work for me. Apparently I don’t know the art of sliding up a wall with not a lot of support.
I’m not even completely sure HOW I got up…. I know it took a while. I’d estimate at least 20 minutes. I had gotten really frustrated and wanted to give up several times, so that;s probably what made it take so long. The people down below would NOT let me down, so I just eventually summed up a burst of… Something… And managed to get up the rock. Made it to the top, grabbed the anchor, hung there for a few minutes, and then contently went back down.
It was actually a pretty good feeling, but I was so worn out at that moment that I kind of forgot to notice. My legs were shaking and my hands were raw…. Even those who didn’t take forever on that climb said it was brutal on the hands.
Where I was holding on up there for so long there was a crack. And I managed, with my small hands, to wedge my arm into the crack and hold onto a rock from behind. That was my handhold up there that kept me in one place when the rope slipped. It kinda was hard on the hands though.
I recovered from that climb fairly quickly, actually, and decided to head up this bouldery path to where they were repelling. I climbed up, with a little help from some guys. We took the safer path, which involved a really big step that I couldn’t make on my own, so they helped me out there.
There were a lot of people waiting to repel, so I decided not to. I wanted to, but had done it the day before and was content with that. I headed back down the bouldery path. By then it was almost time to go, so I got my stuff together and headed BACK up the bouldery path.
That time I made it up myself. Most people were taking the other route, but that involved big holes that scared me, so I went the other way. Was able to swing my leg up and roll somehow, managing the big step by myself. I must have hit my knee though, because I have a big sore spot now…. But I was proud of myself for making it.
After that we headed back to the vans. Going back the boulder way was MUCH faster, so it wasn’t far at all. We took a group picture, returned all the borrowed gear, and then piled into the vans to head home.
The ride home consisted of rain (which started pretty heavy right as we were leaving our climbing place…. It was a nice fairly heavy rain that I enjoyed greatly, where as everyone else thought I was nuts), a stop at a climbing store (just for fun), and lots of music from Ty’s iPod….. And me in a half-asleep state a lot of the way.

We got back to OSU at probably about 3:00. Then we had to unload, return the stuff borrowed from OSU, and do a little video thing that they’re going to put online. After that we headed back to our dorms. We all desperately wanted showers. I threw my stuff into my room, got a shower, and then ran outside to find out if I was too late for the New Student walk (which is the same as the graduation walk, but for new students).
I was too late to get into the proper place, but I hopped in at the end anyway. I ended up being the last person in the walk, which was kinda cool and quite awkward. I made it anyway, so that was good.
Next was Convocation. All in all it wasn’t terribly interesting….. I did find out something though. I found it kind of funny. The vice president of student affairs was giving statistics on the entering class. The youngest entering freshman is 15. There was kind of a “wow” gasp that I heard, and mixed in was me laughing. That makes it quite likely I’m the youngest…. Which I should have known, but still is kind of “woah”.
Just for the sake of saying so, the oldest is 65. That made me go “wow”.

Honestly, that’s about all I got out of convocation. And the OSU fight song.

After that was the new student reception thing. Unfortunately that’s also when it started raining. I got a free smoothie thing, and then I started freezing, so I came back to my dorm to get something warm. Then I went back, because there was free food. It turned out to be this Mexican grill stuff, which was good, but a little spicy for my taste…. That and my fork fell on the ground. So I didn’t have a lot of it. I didn’t think it was really worth it to get another fork. It was just a little spicy for me.

Then I came back here…. And did stuff… Posted here, chatted, went on the westie boards, wrote e-mails, checked e-mails….
Oh yeah, and I checked with the service center and the contract thing is fine. I’m just getting random e-mails, I guess.

Then I went to the OSU new student carnival. Honestly it wasn’t terribly exciting. I did the inflatable obstacle course, was still sore from climbing, fell on my back, and stuff like that…. Got some free cotton candy. A free pen. Watched some people in those sumo suits. That was kinda fun. But the people running it didn’t really know the rules, I think. One guy totally left the circle, but they kept on going.

Now I’m back here, and I’m really tired. I’m totally ready to head to bed. G;night.

Anyone who ever goes to OSU should totally do FOOTSTEPS…. It’s the best!

So… My FOOTSTEPS trip was…. ROCK CLIMBING!
Awesome trip.

Sunday morning, up way too early. Seven is too early. But I managed. Actually got out of bed at 7:30, because I was cold and didn’t want to get out of bed….. But it was all OK. I made it fine to our meeting place, with time to spare. Filled up my water bottles, and I was ready to roll!
I was in van 4, with Ty driving. That was fun…. We listened to music and chatted A LOT. I got to know some people pretty well. Things were going great.
After a few hours we reached our first stop (besides the quick bathroom break on the way), our rock climbing site for the day! We learned how to belay and how to set ourselves up to climb. That was pretty cool. I belayed some people, and climbed twice. Didn’t reach the top of either, but I was still pretty happy with it. I got to good points on both. Good for a first day, anyway….
After climbing for a while, we headed to our camp area. A free place near Smith Rock. We were about an hour away, so it was another drive……
We got to the camp and set up tents. Me and a few other people stole a picnic table from another site, then my van group was assigned to make the fire ring huge (there was one already, but it was small), while the other van got dinner ready.
We did that, then ate dinner. Tortilla wrap things…. Pretty good, actually. I sat on the ground… While most people sat on logs or van seats that we pulled out of the van (they come out). I like the ground…
After dinner we started goofing around. We played some games… Some riddle things…. “The hot chocolate game” is evil. It’s a pattern game. I could play it once, but then I couldn’t later. :p Then we did the “who has the ball” thing, which totally confused me until someone explained it…. It’s a crazy riddle thing. Then we played silent football, which was just plain FUNNY. A little confusing, but pretty darn funny.
THen was the fun part….. Probably my favorite part of that night… MAFIA! That’s such a cool game. The first round PAt, who was sitting next to me, was Mafia…. So I got killed, because I suspected her. The second game I got killed because I guess I was suspicious. :p Not Mafia though. So that was kinda sad.
After that we headed to bed. I set up my sleeping bag and stuff, and curled into bed. It wasn’t as cold as I expected, which was nice.

Day two. Our only full day. Full of fun and craziness.
We woke up to clouds…. Oh joy. We were already told that if the weather turns bad we’d go caving, which sounded fun too, so that was OK.
We had instant oatmeal for breakfast, which I will confess is not my favorite thing ever. It wasn’t bad though. I survived.
For lunch they had bagels, nutrigrain bars, and cookies. We were to pack our own lunch. I just grabbed a couple nutrigrains and a couple cookies. I don’t do bagels unless they are toasted or with cream cheese, preferably both, but neither were an option.
Then we all piled into the vans to get going. Finally, Smith Rock! Spiderman Buttress, to be exact. It drizzled on the way there, but climbing was still on!
To get there we had to hike… Which I can do, but I’m slow. Especially where it’s steep, regardless of whether it’s up or down. It wasn’t too bad though, and I made it. It drizzled off and on along the way, which felt quite nice (to me). Tim (one of the guides) hung out in the back… Which was nice, because I was basically the back. A couple other people would sometimes end up in back too. The back did end up being behind a gap from the rest of the group…. But oh well. Such is life. We do what we can.
When we finally got up to the climbing area, I was kinda tired. I’m a wimp, and I know it. It had stopped drizzling too, which was nice for the climbing part.
I took a breather, got my climbing gear on, and chose a wall to try out. I chose one that looked fairly straight-forwards. It was, but it wasn’t really EASY, at least for someone like me. It wasn’t hard either, though, and I topped it. That excited me. I got back down, and was already feeling ready to tackle another. I knew I’d need a short break first, so I wandered over to the other side of the rock ridge there to see what they had over there.
I ended up climbing both routes on that side. The first was along a narrow crack, which was great for hand jams, but not much else. That’s where I started getting used to hand jams though… And that one I topped.
The other was pretty much along a face, but there was a crack too. It was along the ridge, and at the top you could climb up onto the rock, which of course I did.
After that they made the second one I did into a repel path. So you climbed up one side (the first climb I did), then repelled down that way… Self repelling.
I belayed some people off and on between climbs, and also after my third climb. After that I was feeling warm and thirsty, so I went to get a d drink and take a break. I did that, then climbed the first one I did again…. I wanted to repel!
I did that, which was kinda freaky. You essentially tie in, then lean backwards over a large drop-off. Fun, fun! It wasn’t too bad for me, but I wont deny that it’s freaky.

Well, I’m going to stop here for now. This is getting long, and I want to go to the carnival in the quad tonight! I’ll hopefully write more later…..

Oh yeah, and I just upgraded to a paid account!

So…….. College life.

Let’s see… I got here and we were doing pretty good. I had my bank account, my hair cut, I was feeling pretty good. We were pushing time a LITTLE, but not too bad. Plenty of time to check in, anyway.

I got my keys, and we went in. Got into the building OK. Up to my room, and… The key didn’t work. I’m bad with keys, so I let my mom try. She agreed. It didn’t work. So back to the service center, got a DIFFERENT key, and this one worked fine.
Got moved in all right… Piled the stuff in my room, then went to Cingular to get my new phone. That went well. Then to Elmer’s for “lunch” (by now it was 3:15). That was really yummy. Then my mom dropped me off at my dorm. I dropped the rest of my stuff off at my room, then headed off to my FOOTSTEPS trip meeting.
That went pretty well. I needed to do a new wavier, which I’m SURE I mailed, but otherwise it was OK. I didn’t have to be fitted for climbing shoes, since I have my own. That was nice. Then I went to pick up the sleeping pad I asked to borrow (from the university), and planned to ask for some water bottles too.
That was where things turned again. They didn’t get my request form. They were out of sleeping pads. Water bottles were OK… That they had. But no more sleeping pads. But they would take my number down and call me if they found anything.

I headed back to my dorm, and called my mom to vent. I hate USPS. Gr. After that I got a call…. They found me a sleeping pad. All is well again.

Then I decided to get online. I have a very weak yet lightning fast wifi connection in my room (though I’ll probably use ethernet most just to be safe…. Don’t want to be dropped from my connection!
I checked my e-mail, and had something from the service center….. “We don’t have a signed contract from you.”
This I mailed a LONG time ago. They asked me to go to the service center ASAP. I did. It was closed. Someone did see me being confused though, and asked if I needed anything. They directed me back to the Finley RAs, who called someone, and found out I DO have a signed contract….

So now I’m just kinda confused and frustrated. One thing WAS lost in the mail, one was PRESUMED lost in the mail…. Only to find it got here, but my service center doesn’t appear to know it. They told me to check in tomorrow…. Well, we’re leaving at 8:00. I’ll be gone until Tuesday afternoon. I wont be able to tomorrow. So I said I’d check in ASAP. Find out what’s going on.

First day in college life…. I’m on a roll.

On the other hand, I like my room location.

Now… To find out why Financial Aid doesn’t think I signed the online thing for my loan………..

I really do. Because I’m like that.

Let’s see…. I want to have icons for different subjects I will likely write about. Like F&W stuff, home stuff, OSU stuff…. You know, stuff. There’s an awesome song called Stuff. I should buy it on iTunes. But first I should get If You’re Going Through Hell. That’s a great song. I just rambled.

If I had an icon system I would use a library icon now. Because I’m stuck here…. All day. We got here before 9:00 today!!!! And my mom had to go to Florence for the day… A library directors meeting thing. But she needed me to work…. So she’s gone and I’m here. Crazy.
I worked the morning with Ginger….. A nice slow morning where we didn’t do much of anything that was productive, because there was nothing productive to do. That’s how slow it was.
I’ll be working the evening shift too…. Either Sandy or Carol will work with me until my mom comes back.
And then it’s board meeting. Bored? Board? Whatever.
So I lost all of today. This is frustrating, I’m moving on Saturday to OSU, trying to get ready for that….. But I lost today. I’ll get over it. I’ll manage… Somehow.

I think I’ll get a paid account soon. Then I can have more icons.